literature

Levi x Reader - Persona Of Levi Part 10

Deviation Actions

WindMeister8's avatar
By
Published:
3.5K Views

Literature Text

“Oh my god, it’s meat!” Isabel squealed, running towards the kitchen as the sumptuous aroma wafted through the house.

“I’ll be done in just a few minutes, Isabel,” (F/N) winked at the young teen that was literally jumping up and down beside her, drool forming at the sides of her mouth.

(F/N) switched off the gas supply and scooped out decent chunks of meat into each of the four plates laid out on the table. From another pot, she ladled gravy onto the meat, letting the sweetness of the gravy seep into the tender meat. Once she was done, Isabel carried the plates over and set the dining table at a lightning speed.

“Farlan, Big bro! Dinner’s served!” she called out to the two men who were busy updating their bookkeeping records on the new goods.

(F/N) took a seat beside Isabel, chuckling at the way Isabel was clenching her utensils, resisting the urge to dig in before the men joined them at the table. “You can go ahead and eat first if you’re hungry, Isabel.”

Isabel gave her a sad smile. “I can’t. It’s bad manners if I start first before everyone is seated.”

(F/N)’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. Manners were hard to come by in the Underground. It was unnecessary and sometimes, impractical for survival. The people here did away with niceties and stuck with the basics. But meeting someone with manners made for a nice change. It felt… normal. She could pretend that everything was fine with the world, that she wasn’t living underground, that there were no Titans above.  That she was just waiting to have a family dinner.

The creak of the door interrupted (F/N)’s thoughts as the two men walked towards the dining table, discussing in hushed tones the remaining balance of their business transactions. As they took their seats, Farlan whistled appreciatively.  “This looks really good. Thanks, (F/N).”

“No problem, love,” she replied as all of them dived into their meals.

Between mouthfuls of food, Isabel inquired, “So how was your talk with Missus Ingrid?”

Levi and (F/N) looked at each other before (F/N) decided to slightly alter the conversation flow. “How do you find her, Isabel? Is she nice to you?”

Isabel nodded. “Yeah she’s really nice. She told me about how she used to be quite sad and full of hate. But she’s changed now. Every time I go over, she feeds me nice food and shows me all her fortunetelling stuff. She’s blind, so she likes to touch my face. That’s how she sees. She’s always said that she wanted a kid of her own and that she wished she could be my mum… or at least a godmother.”

The three adults were silent the whole time, paying close attention to every word she said. Her last sentence caused (F/N) to freeze, the hand that was gripping her spoon halting in its journey to deliver its food to her mouth.

After a moment of silence, Levi said matter-of-factly, “Isabel, don’t see Ingrid anymore.”

Farlan and (F/N) turned to look at Levi who continued eating as if nothing was wrong.

“Why not?” Isabel asked, frowning in confusion.

No reply came from Levi who merely scooped another mouthful of meat into his mouth, ignoring the stares from all the people around the table. The house was so deadly quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

(F/N) broke the silence. “I think it’s okay for Isabel to see Ingrid, Levi.”

“That’s none of your business,” Levi said curtly, shooting her a formidable look.

(F/N) opened her mouth to retort, but thought better of it and lapsed back into silence.

Isabel shook her head, trying to make sense of things. “I don’t get it, big bro. Why won’t you let me see Missus Ingrid? She’s not a bad person. How can she be bad when she even offered to be a godmother to me?”

“There’s no discussion to be had here,” Levi replied, putting his cutlery down as he finished the last mouthful.

Isabel’s eyebrows furrowed as she glared at Levi, her green eyes burning with ferocity. “And why do you get to decide who I mix with? You’re not my dad!”

Levi did not meet Isabel’s eyes but his eye visibly twitched, his mouth set in a grim line. His silence only served to aggravate Isabel whose hands were clenched into fists.

“Why do you want Ingrid to be your godmother?” Farlan asked quietly.

Isabel turned her head away, fixing her gaze on the floor as she bit her trembling lips.

“From what I’ve heard, Isabel, Ingrid is not exactly a good person. We don’t trust her enough to let you be with her,” Farlan reasoned in a calm tone.

“What do you really know about her, Farlan? She’s changed! She’s nice to me!” Isabel yelled, surprising everyone at the table.

“I ju-just want a mum,” Isabel whispered hoarsely, her voice cracking.

A single racking sob escaped from her little throat as she ferociously rubbed away the tears that were threatening to leak out from beneath her eyelids. Before anyone could react, her sobs turned into a sharp cry as she bent over the table, her hands flying to cover her crotch.

“What’s wrong, Isabel??”  (F/N) hastily asked, her hand rubbing Isabel’s back, trying to comfort the teen.

“So-something’s flowing o-out. It fe-feels eeky,” Isabel said in short gasps.

Levi and Farlan were already up on their feet, crossing over to Isabel’s side when (F/N) stood up abruptly, knocking her seat over in the process. She quietly coaxed Isabel to place her hand around her neck while bringing her other hand around Isabel’s waist. The two men awkwardly tried to help her but she waved them off. “She’ll be fine. Farlan, get me a cloth made of thick cotton or wool. Levi, get a new set of underwear and pants for Isabel. I’m taking her to the bathroom.”

The two men stood transfixed to the spot, wide eyes staring at her in disbelief. (F/N) rolled her eyes and snapped, “Go!”

Her harsh tone got them moving, Farlan dashing to his bedroom while Levi headed for Isabel’s bedroom. Supporting Isabel on her shoulder, (F/N) led the whimpering girl to the small bathroom. Once they were in, she seated the girl on the floor of the shower. Turning towards the bathroom entrance, she noticed Farlan and Levi had found the appropriate items she had requested. As they handed the items over to her, she nodded and started to close the door.

“Hey wait (F/N), so is she – “ Farlan started.

“Yes. Now please stay outside here and wait.” With that, she closed the door, leaving the two men standing there nervously.

Walking over to Isabel who was hugging her knees, she kneeled down and laid the cloth and new set of clothes on the floor. She gently rested her hand on Isabel’s head, and said softly, “Isabel, you’re having your period.”

Isabel jerked up, her face stained with tears and snot dangling from her nostrils. “Wha-what?”

“I need you to remove your underwear so we can change into new ones,” she said soothingly.

Hesitating, Isabel blushed a little as she gripped her pants, embarrassed to change in front of someone.

Smiling, (F/N) patted her head. “It’s okay. There’s nothing I haven’t seen before. “

Isabel cracked a sheepish smile and slowly took her pants off and then her underwear. When the material came down, she gasped at the sight of blood coating her previously pristine white underwear, her hand flying to cover her mouth as she stared in horror and disgust.

(F/N) quickly helped to remove the underwear and dumped it in the small sink. Turning back to Isabel, she said, “Now let’s have you take a bath to wash out all that blood. How’s that sound?”

Isabel nodded and stripped out of her remaining clothes before she stepped into the shower. Soon, the sound of running water filled the bathroom and (F/N) busied herself with scrubbing the blood off the material and then, shaping the thick cloth onto Isabel’s new set of underwear.

Once she heard the sound of the faucet being turned off, she held out the new underwear which was now fitted with the cloth. She motioned to Isabel to wear it but Isabel stared apprehensively at the additional piece of cloth that had been wrapped around the underwear.

“What’s that doing there?” she inquired.

“It’s to absorb the blood that’s coming out of you. That way, you don’t stain your underwear.”

Isabel stared at her, wide-eyed. “You mean, I’m going to bleed more? Won’t I die from blood loss?”

Chuckling slightly, she explained slowly, “You’re becoming a grown woman, Isabel. Now, you are able to have babies. So your body is adjusting itself to be able to handle babies. This womb..” She rested her hand on Isabel’s stomach. “… prepares itself every month in case you do have one. And if you don’t, it just gets rid of all the material that it prepared. That material comes out as blood. The material comes out slowly over the span of a few days and we call that time – period. Once that is all out, you stop bleeding and the womb starts preparation all over again.”

Isabel frowned, trying to digest the flood of information that had suddenly been given to her. “So..” she said slowly, “every month, I’m going to bleed for a few days… because I’m now a grown-up?”

“Yes, that’s the gist of it,” (F/N) grinned, trying to suppress her amusement at how Isabel had summed up the whole idea of having a period.

Taking the new underwear from (F/N), Isabel looked at her questioningly. “I just… wear this like normal?”

(F/N) nodded and gestured to the cloth. “Just make sure that it covers…” She motioned to the crotch area. “… that part fully.”

Carefully, Isabel slipped on the underwear and pulled it up, adjusting it slightly so that the cloth covered the groin area. She wriggled a little and grimaced. “Eek.. it feels weird.”

Unable to hold back her laughter, (F/N) spoke in between fits of giggles. “Yeah, it takes time to get used to it, don’t worry, Isabel.”

A strained sob interrupted her and her head snapped up to see Isabel looking at the floor, her hands balled in fists at her side and her chest heaving. Quickly switching to her serious mode, she said, “Oh no, Isabel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. You’re just too adorable and… to be honest, I haven’t genuinely laughed in a while. So… I sort of lost it.”

Isabel remained silent, her body now shaking slightly from the force of her crying. (F/N) tried to get a closer look at her face but Isabel avoided eye contact, turning her head away from her.

“Is it about Ingrid?” (F/N) said gently.

“N-not really.” The soft reply came, a little muffled by the sobs.

(F/N) waited patiently for Isabel to open up and after a moment, the teen rubbed her eyes and sneaked a peek at her. She flashed Isabel a warm smile that said ‘I’m here for you.’

Without looking at (F/N), Isabel mumbled softly, “I’ve never had a mum. So there’s no one to tell me these things. I just feel so… lonely and scared. My body… I don’t know what’s happening with my body and it frightens me…. so much.”

(F/N) listened quietly while gently rubbing Isabel’s back in a soothing rhythm. Having gone through the same experience but without a kind soul to gently tell her that this was normal, she knew exactly how frightened Isabel was. She had learnt the hard way and she didn’t want Isabel to go through the same rollercoaster ride of emotions that she had. Obviously, Isabel wasn’t quite done yet and she continued her ministrations, cajoling the young girl into continuing.

“I mean Farlan and big bro did try to tell me some stuff. But… I couldn’t understand much and then they just turn away and say I’ll understand more when I grow up. I know they try their best to be my parents and they love me.. and I love them.. but… it’s just..” She struggled for a word, but finding none in her limited vocabulary, settled for “different.”

Resting her chin on Isabel’s head, (F/N) replied, “I know. It’s been difficult for you… and them. The love from a mother is different from a father or brother. But you’re still a lucky girl, Isabel. You have… two men who love you to bits. Sure, they suck at women stuff but at least this time, I’m here to help you out with that. I can tell you everything you need to know and you’ll be just fine.”

Isabel sniffed noisily and nodded, (F/N)’s head bobbing up and down in tandem with the movement. As (F/N) lifted her head to look at Isabel, the teen asked shyly, “Th-then could you be my godmother, (F/N)?”

The shock was written all over (F/N)’s face as she stared at Isabel. So profound were the effects of Isabel’s words that her heart seemed to have stopped its steady beat for a moment. She had never thought that she could be a mother, never could be, but that simple question had made the tips of her fingers tingle and her eyes dampen as pure joy filled her soul. That this young, strong, and adorable girl would want her to be a godmother made her feel like her existence was meaningful and wanted. But before she lost herself to fantasies, she quickly pulled herself down to the sad reality of it all.

“Isabel, I-I’m not suited to be your godmother. I can only give you help, advice… but that’s it,” she said with a smile, a tortured smile that she had to put on for Isabel’s sake to prevent her from seeing her crumbling soul.

The devastation that Isabel felt was plain to see, her eyes stinging with fresh tears that threatened to spill any moment. (F/N) felt a pang in her heart, knowing that she had caused her pain but it was for the best.

“Why? Is it because you don’t like me?” Isabel said, her lips trembling.

“No! No, no, Isabel. I like you a lot,” (F/N) hastily clarified.

Isabel smiled weakly but her smile quickly vanished. “Is it because you’re a bad person.. like what big bro and Farlan said?”

Her question caught (F/N) off-guard and she picked her words carefully. “I’m not a good person… but it doesn’t mean I’m bad either. I do what I have to do in order to survive. As do we all.”

Frowning, Isabel pondered her reply for a moment before deciding she could live with that answer. “So… why?” she asked innocently.

Taking in a deep breath, (F/N) looked at the green, wide eyes staring back at her, imploring her for a solid reason. There was no way she could go without answering the question and she couldn’t think of a proper lie that would not hurt Isabel’s feelings, so as painful and personal as it was, she had to tell the truth.

“I… I never really had a mother. She died when I was young and I have no recollection of how she even looked like.” (F/N) paused, the emotions in her threatening to bubble to the surface as memories of the past flooded back in vivid detail. Closing her eyes, she blanked out her mind, flushing away all thoughts, all emotions, leaving nothing but an empty canvas. She opened her eyes, seeing everything once again but feeling nothing as she continued, “I myself can never be a mother because my womb is destroyed. So.. you see, Isabel, I’m not fit to be a mother. I don’t know how to be one, I can’t be one.”

Isabel’s eyes were now glassy and before (F/N) could say anything, a pair of arms wrapped tightly around her waist and she stumbled backwards slightly from the sudden impact. Her eyes widened at the show of affection by Isabel and her breath hitched in her throat as her arms dangled loosely at the side, unsure of where to place them.

“I think you’re a good mum, (F/N). It doesn’t matter whether you’ve had experience. To me, all that matters is you like me,” Isabel mumbled into (F/N)’s chest.

The floor in front of (F/N) blurred, obscured by the tears that were pooling behind her eyelids. Her heart raced in her chest and she hoped that Isabel wasn’t able to feel the accelerated pounding of her heart that betrayed her emotions of bliss. She almost laughed at the idea that a young teen had won her over with such simple words.  But that was the weakness of a human heart. A weakness that, this time, and this time alone, she would accept. The sincerity of Isabel’s heartfelt declaration had pierced through the barrier that she had put up and found its way into her heart.

“Alright, Isabel… Alright.”



(F/N) quietly closed the door to Isabel’s bedroom, making sure that the hinges wouldn’t creak and wake up the sleeping young girl. Once the door was properly shut, she turned to head towards the kitchen but saw Farlan leaning against the wall opposite her, his gaze shifting from the floor to her as she walked towards him, arms crossed over his chest.

“How is she?” he asked, his voice slightly tense.

“She’s doing fine. I told her what she needs to know, so she’s mentally prepared. And her pains will subside soon since she’s taken the herbs,” she replied.

Farlan nodded, his grey eyes not really focused on her. He seemed to be lost in thought, his mouth set in a grim line and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Studying him carefully, she continued, “She didn’t mean anything she said just now. Periods can make a girl very sensitive and more crude than she normally is. So I won’t take anything to heart.”

“Thank you, (F/N).”

The sudden thanks coupled with the serious look on Farlan’s face stunned her for a while. She knew how much Farlan distrusted her, so this sincere thanks coming from him was a little unexpected. Giving a small smile, she replied, “It’s nothing. But it’s a little early for her to have her period. I thought it would come at least two years later.”

As she thought about it, she gave a light chuckle. “Then again, I guess you guys fed her well. So it makes sense, I suppose.”

Farlan cracked a smile. “Yeah, we really fattened her up. She wasn’t like this when we found her, you know. She was the total opposite of what you see now – empty, soulless, skin and bones. Crouched on the ground, begging beside a dead corpse.”

She shivered at the imagery, thinking of how Isabel’s life had been before meeting Levi and Farlan. The grimace on her face and the clenching of her hands told Farlan how invested her feelings were in Isabel, so he continued, “We found out her parents had abandoned her and an old beggar took her in… so that he could use her to get more alms. Once he died, she just continued on like that. We took her in, fed her, taught her to read and write… “

He trailed off. “… but apparently it wasn’t enough.”

Isabel’s story had made her insides roil and she would have gladly gone to find the old beggar and strangle his little neck but as fate would have it, he had already passed on. Farlan’s last words though made her snap up to see him looking away into the distance, his eyes sorrowful and filled with regret.

She realized that this was the first time that he had ever shown any genuine feelings in front of her. Isabel was a precious person to him and what she had said earlier must have really gotten to him for Farlan to tell Isabel’s story to someone like her and show a moment of weakness. Hesitantly, she patted his shoulder and said softly, “You did a good job, Farlan. She knows that. And she loves you too. Just… give her time.”

He gave a deep sigh and looked at her. “Yeah,” he breathed out, “and thank you for doing what we couldn’t do, (F/N).”

Farlan patted the hand that she rested on his shoulder and turned to leave when a thought struck him. Snapping his fingers, he said, “Almost forgot to tell you, but Levi’s probably perched on the roof of the opposite building. You might want to tell him how things have gone with Isabel.”

He gave her a small wink before disappearing into his bedroom, leaving her wondering what his last gesture was supposed to mean. Shrugging it off, she headed to find Levi, the one who was probably the most affected by the whole incident.



It didn’t take her long to find him – a small shape perched on the roof top staring out at the vast Underground scenery with his back to the hideout. She climbed the rickety ladder and quietly stepped onto the roof, approaching Levi from the back.

“How is she?” he echoed the same question Farlan had brought up earlier without turning, having sensed her presence.

“She’s sleeping soundly and overall, she’s doing fine,” she replied, taking a seat beside him, crossing her legs.

Levi didn’t answer, staring out at the sprawling expanse of dilapidated buildings, each one more ugly and rundown than the other, fighting to occupy every square inch of the large cavern. She followed his gaze, looking at all the people going about their daily life down in the streets. The majority of them looked utterly miserable, dragging their feet as they walked aimlessly around or just lying down, sprawled out on the ground, awaiting death or the clink of a coin landing in their outstretched palms.  

It was obvious to her that Levi wasn’t really observing them. His eyes seemed to look past them, or more like, through them. His knee was propped up, with one arm resting lazily on it, and the other arm placed behind him supporting his back. Under any normal circumstances, his posture would have radiated aloofness and an almost laidback confidence. But today, all she could feel was the air of a weary man with the weight of the world upon his shoulders. Whatever emotions were plaguing Farlan, Levi had it in buckets.

To help remove part of his burden and share it with her, she cautiously approached the tender subject. “So… Farlan told me. About how you guys found Isabel.”

Silence greeted her as she studied Levi’s reaction from the corner of her eye. His expression hadn’t changed but she detected the slight widening of his eyes. She half expected him to chide her and ask her to bugger off, but he didn’t. So, she waited.

“She was just like me.”

(F/N) turned to look at Levi, surprised by his statement. He was still looking far into the distance but his expression had somewhat softened, carrying a reminiscent look. Her heart fluttered slightly in delight that for the first time, Levi was opening up to her. It was certainly unlike him to show his true emotions or even share information about his past, so this was a pleasant surprise for her. But she wondered what had prompted him to confide in her… and for that matter, why was she even happy that he did?

His voice shook her from her thoughts. “I saw her crouching in the streets, dirty and scrawny. Her eyes were lifeless, just like mine when I found out my mother was dead. I was disgusted and angry. Because when I saw her.. I saw myself. It was like looking at a mirror of my past. So… I took her in and planned to shoo her off once she was healthy enough. But then..” He hesitated, his lips clamming up tightly, unable to complete his sentence.

Without realizing it, (F/N) had been clenching her fists so tightly the whole time that she winced slightly when she retracted her fingers from the sore flesh. Levi’s recounting of his encounter with Isabel had her almost in tears but she had not shown it for that would be a sign of weakness. She recognized that everything he said was true – he could not spin such a big story and show no signs of lying. But now she knew how badly he had taken his mother’s death and remembering that time of her life, she felt the familiar pang of guilt and misery that constantly haunted her.

Pushing her feelings aside, she turned her attention to his incomplete sentence that hung in the air between them. She understood exactly what he had meant to say and gently, she said, “You grew to love her.”

He didn’t respond but she took his silence as an admission.

“I guess that’s not what she needs,” he said without a hint of emotion. But his narrowed eyes and downturn of his lips told a different story.

“Isabel’s a greedy girl,” she replied.

Levi snapped his head to glare at her, his lips curling into a snarl, ready to tear her apart. She merely laughed at his reaction and said with a knowing smile, “Just like the rest of us.”

He raised his eyebrow slightly, perplexed at what she was trying to get at.

“We can never have enough. Parents, friends, lovers, children. Somehow, we always want more. But we have to learn how to be satisfied and cherish what we have,” she explained, gazing up at the high rock ceiling that she had always stared at, wishing that a ray of sunlight or a glimpse of the blue sky would materialize if she looked hard enough.

“Isabel knows that and she won’t trade the world for the two of you. It’s just that periods bring out the worst in a girl, and they brought out her buried wishes as well. But… “ She turned to face Levi. “..she will always love you the most.”

Levi stared at her wide-eyed, his mouth open slightly in surprise. She smiled and stood up, dusting her long skirt. “Well, I got to go and check up on Isabel.”

She headed down, knowing that Levi would want to be alone. ‘Hiding his embarrassment and happiness,’ she thought and chuckled to herself.

“Oi, (F/N).” Levi’s voice rang out and she stopped in mid-step, turning back to face him.

He looked straight into her eyes, his expression dead serious. “I don’t mind you being Isabel’s godmother.”

His words hit her like a ton of bricks and it took her some time to process what he had just uttered. She was elated beyond words but couldn’t quite believe what she had heard. Her heart raced for the umpteenth time today as she tried to form intelligible words.

“Or are you planning on going back on your word?” he said sharply.

“No!” she exclaimed, a large grin making its way across her features. “I would love to, Levi.”
So I know the previous parts have tons of action and drama but for this chapter, i wanted to emphasize the small things in life, or the growing up phase - those things that we now take for granted and don't even think of - which is so different from what they're experiencing. 

I wanted to make the point that life in the Underground isn't all fancy survival skills like hand-to-hand combat or penile fractures (LOL) but it's also about the common things that all humans (or in this case, women) go through that make them relatable. So I'm sorry if you feel grossed out! ><

Note: Girls in the olden days got their period when they were 17-ish. So this puts Isabel around 15 at this point.

Big thank you to Makaria for beta-reading~~ :heart:

Hope you like this part! XD

Part 11: fav.me/d93jiit

----------
Cover pic: Little Levi by Lulu2222 tumblr
Thank you for letting me use your beautiful art!


© 2015 - 2024 WindMeister8
Comments37
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
JulyCece's avatar
I think it's the first time in 22 years that I read something about period in a story like this one XD It's just fabulous! Cause I totally agree, it's just life and those simple things are often forgotten u.u Anyway, I was surprised, I won't hide it XD Mostly cause... I didn't know a first time could be that impressive x) Poor Isabel ;A;

And wow! Lucky her Reader-chan was here XDDDD I can't imagine what would have happened if Isabel had been alone with the men *laughed* Oh my... I have to imagine that in fact, sory :3 Levi trying to explain such a thing, for sure it would be worse, like, too direct or too confusing XD And Farlan... he would be just shy and red as a tomato XDDD Just fabulous *rolls* I would pay to see that 8D

I had never realized that period came around 17 yo before... for me it was 15. So I thought Isabel was 13 in your story. And as I see her as a teen of 15 yo in the OVA, it made sense XD But ok, she 15 then... WAIT! Does it means that the girls of the 104th trainee squad (Mikasa and the others) are not women yet?! Wow...

Another beautiful chapter. It's great too, to have a part based only on feelings and real life, without a lot of "action" but just "life" *^* Oh! And Reader-chan's gonna be Isabel's maman ;A; ADORABLE! :heart: